This morning, for some odd reason, my mind was drawn to thinking about the first couple and first marriage, Adam & Eve. I couldn’t help but think how different their marriage was from this generation:
Adam & Eve taught each other the mysteries of marriage. There was no fear of failure or comparison.
Eve couldn’t call her besties and complain about Adam when he was annoying.
Adam wasn’t tempted by any other woman because Eve was the only woman.
Eve couldn’t call her mom and ask her for advice. She had to talk with Adam, or if it was about Adam, she might be more apt to talk with God.
Adam didn’t have a TV to sit and watch football.
Eve didn’t have in-laws to complain to or blame for Adam’s annoying behaviors.
Adam didn’t have buddies that he could go hang out with for several hours while Eve took care of the kids.
Adam & Eve didn’t have to worry about STD’s because they had only ever been with each other.
Adam & Eve didn’t have to worry that their spouse might decide to change genders in the future.
Eve was the prettiest woman on earth. Adam was the strongest and handsomest man on earth.
If Eve wanted to flirt, she would only have her husband with whom to flirt.
If Eve gained a few pounds after babies, Adam would just assume that’s what all women did. If Eve sagged and dimpled a little more over the years, there wouldn’t be air-brushed magazine models with which to compare.
If Adam grew a gut and went bald, again it would be assumed that’s what all men do when they get older.
Things were a lot simpler in many ways.
On the other hand, Eve had to experience pregnancy and labor for the first time without any supporting stories, advice from other women, or an attending physician. She had Adam to stay by her side, to comfort, and to assist her.
Adam & Eve would have to spend a lot of time together — working just to survive, raising kids together, and for human companionship.
I imagine, just like in most marriages, there were times they would take a walk just to cool off, or Adam would spend his anger on hoeing more weeds in the garden.
Knowing that there were no other options — that they couldn’t find someone else or even just leave — would have forced them to improve what they had.
Adam needed Eve to survive. Eve needed Adam to survive. They needed each other.
The need for human companionship, protection, and procreation would have drawn them to each other. After all, it’s more preferable to curl up next to another warm body and feel that warm arm wrapped protectively around you than it is to face the cold nights and hungry beasts alone.
Adam & Eve faced a lot together: they experienced the horror of their eldest son murdering their second-born son. After the murder, their eldest son never returned but roamed the earth. They lost two sons that day. The grief, questions, and even guilt they must have faced would have been overwhelming. I imagine that they learned to comfort each other during those tragic times.
Adam & Eve had experienced everything together: The Garden of Eden, the Fall, the departure from the Garden of Eden, God’s promises, the wonder of walking with God in the Garden, marriage, babies, raising children, dealing with adult children, and growing old together. They watched many generations raise MANY children.
I imagine that Adam & Eve learned a lot about faith, hard work, sacrifice, and love.
I would love to have their marriage advice, but I imagine it would look a lot like the descriptions above:
- Make each other a priority over any other relationship.
- Don’t complain to or blame your in-laws.
- Don’t complain to your buddies about your spouse.
- Don’t compare your spouse to anyone else.
- Don’t look for a “way out.”
- Work together.
- Have babies together.
- Hold your wife to comfort, to protect, and to keep her warm.
- Flirt with your husband, as if he was the only man on earth.
- Flirt with your wife as if she is the most beautiful woman on earth.
- Grieve together and comfort each other.
- Give each other some space when angry.
- Share as many special events together as possible.
- Recognize that you need each other.
- Walk with God together.
- Be vulnerable with each other.
- Learn the intimacies of marriage together.
- Work to improve what you have.
- When angry, take it out on weeds — not your wife– or on cleaning the house — not your husband.
- Grow old together, and cherish the memories that wrinkles road-map. (Wrinkles are the road-map of our memories.)