I sat beside him, breathing in his scent. It’s subtle, but I love it because it’s his scent. It’s familiar to me.
I remember reading years ago that there are pheromones that we all release and that part of being drawn to someone is also this subtle pheromone attraction that has to occur. (See http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=116833&page=1.)
When he calls on the phone, I recognize immediately who my caller is, based on his tone and the timber of his voice. I love listening to him sing with our worship team at church because I can always distinguish his harmony apart from the others. My ears are drawn to him.
During the night, my body instinctively tries to locate his body by touch. If we are hot, it might be just my feet against his feet. Typically, a part of me is always touching a part of him. I like his touch. It’s comforting. Studies show that physical touch releases a powerful hormone, called Oxytocin. (See https://bebrainfit.com/oxytocin-love-hormone/.)
My eyes are also drawn to him. I can pick him out in a crowd from a distance because I have memorized his height, physical characteristics, and even habits. I am familiar with him.
There is a definite measure of comfort in the familiar. It is predictable, known, hopefully safe, and there are many memories built within the familiar.
This past Wednesday as I was sitting in church, enjoying the worship music, I suddenly realized how familiar God’s presence has become to me. I am beginning to recognize Him more and more — in His Word, in His creation, in how He speaks through His people, the many ways He communicates with me, the comfort of His Presence, the holiness of Who He is, His love, etc… I was thinking how precious God is becoming more and more to me because of my familiarity with Him.
He is no longer this God from afar — removed from me in thought, in concern, in involvement, in love… He is a present God, intimately involved with every detail of my life.
Lately, I have been made aware of how many ways He cares about even the smallest detail of my life. It amazes me how much He cares to be involved in even the silly and mundane parts of my day.
He sees me when I am vacuuming for the upteenth time, changing poopy underwear off my toddler for the countless time, paying bills, and even the simple look I just gave my child. He sees when I am discouraged, overwhelmed, sad, worried, and lonely.
I remember just last week when I was extremely overwhelmed with a situation. I felt so alone with my burden of responsibility. I kept muttering, “It’s too much! This is too much for one person. I can’t do all of this.” Later, God revealed that He never intended me to do it all myself. He was right there with me. Every time, I cried out for His mercy, and even when I didn’t, He was helping, loving, and watching over me.
I love the attraction I have towards my husband and the comfort he is to me! There is something so precious about that.
I also love it that God, the Creator of the Universe, is becoming more familiar to me!! I love that He is not Someone I blame for the bad things that happen. I know Him too well to associate Him with the consequences of bad choices people make and of the results of an earth that lives under the fall-out of the consequences of human choices.
I find that I am drawn towards this God I have come to love. I want to know Him more! I want His breath, His presence, His tone, His touch to be so familiar to me that I can distinguish Him in the dark, from a distance, in a crowd, and His voice above all other voices begging for my attention.