Feel Like You Are The Checklist?

Check list

(FreeImages.com/Fanginhoon)

I awoke this morning and told my husband that I felt like I had become a checklist to people.  I felt like I consisted of a checklist of boxes of things I had accomplished or had not, and that was the summation of me in the minds of others.  (Note: feelings are not necessarily reality but indicate something that needs attention.)

This morning, I cried out to God, knowing this was an attack from the enemy of my soul to turn my focus on myself — to make me feel rejected, inferior, empty…

I told God straight up (no need to sugar-coat with Him): “God, I am feeling this attack again to believe the lies that I am not enough. S.O.S.!”

God’s response was a bit unexpected but brilliantly profound as always:

He asked me the question, “Am I enough?”

“What does that have to do with me not feeling like enough?”

The wisdom in His response was like a blinding flash!

The real issue behind me not feeling enough was that I am in essence not believing or living like He is enough.

When God is enough, there is no room for discontentment.

You can be in a prison, like Paul and Silas, and still be praising God, or…

You can be like my 91-year-old, adopted grandmother whom I drove several hours to visit yesterday.  This woman has been a widow for close to 21 years.  Her husband was a man who cherished his wife and treated her like a princess.  (You know she misses him.)  This woman is almost blind and almost deaf.  She can’t drive anywhere.  She can’t attend church.  Hardly anyone visits her or remembers her.  She doesn’t have any grandchildren.  Most of her family has already died.  Most of her friends have died.  Yet, this woman knows the meaning of contentment.  I was in awe over this woman who so kindly talked to my kids, who wore a continual smile on her face, who never spoke a single word of complaint over her circumstances.  She was a woman fully content and at peace.  …and I cry as I write these words.

This woman probably doesn’t match up to a lot of people’s checklists.  She can’t do much of anything.  She isn’t publishing books, speaking to large groups of women, playing with grandchildren, and being visited by hoards of people.  She lives in a simple house, with simple decorations, wearing simple clothes, with a simple life, but this woman has learned the richest truths/treasures that so many of us haven’t or will never learn.

This woman has lived fully loved and loved fully.  This woman has learned the secret of contentment.  She doesn’t walk in fear, rejection, or complaining.

What is the secret of contentment?

It’s that He is enough.

So, back to God’s question again:

“Am I enough?”

The question isn’t whether I am enough; the question is whether He is enough.

God gave me these verses this morning that I am “soaking in”:

Psalm 34:10

10 The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

Psalm 34:22

22 The Lord redeems the soul of His servants,
And none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.

 

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6 thoughts on “Feel Like You Are The Checklist?

  1. Amen sister! I struggle with doubts like that too. My husband made a comment to me recently that it would help to stop worrying what others think about me (because I am shy in public). I’m so glad that we are enough to the Lord. Flaws and all. And we are overcomers through Christ who gives us strength! God is good!

    1. So true, Heather!!! I recommend the books, “Uninvited” by Lysa Terkeurst and “Without Rival” by Lisa Bevere. They are wonderful books that help with the whole identity/comparison thing. I found it fascinating that they were writing about so much that God had been teaching me also around the same time! 🙂 Blessings!!! It sounds like you are a special lady with a wise husband. 🙂

      1. Thank you for those recommendations! I just got through reading Audacious by Beth Moore and I recommend that one for a fun and inspiring read. It sounds like you are a wise lady too!

      2. I actually met Beth Moore and heard her speak in person the end of July and she seemed pretty genuine and biblically centered. After that I read her book Audacious and she has a new novel that looks riveting. Before hearing her speak and meeting her, I hadn’t known much about her other than she is a popular Christian speaker and author.

      3. Yes. I honestly think those who criticize her are scared… There seem to be more legalistic reasons for not liking her than genuine good reasons for being concerned. That is my opinion though, and it is based on their objections.

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