Marriages are breaking all over the place.
We know this, but what do we do when it’s our own marriage that is breaking apart?
There are a few questions to ask yourself when you know your marriage is not what it should be:
1. What kind of marriage do you want?
2. How much are you willing to invest or work at it to improve it?
3. What is your relationship with God like? How would you rank it?
The absolute key to the health of your marriage is truly dependent upon the health of your relationship with the Lord.
Let’s look at two simple areas in regards to your relationship:
1. Are you reading God’s Word, believing that it does have answers and will help you?
2. How is you prayer life?
These are simple questions — things we all know.
The problem is the difference between what we know and what we do — which is what we believe.
There are also two questions to ask in regards to your part of your marriage:
1. What does God want to show you in regards to yourself?
2. What specific area(s) do you need to forgive today? (Note: Forgiveness doesn’t absolve the offender; it frees the offended from the stranglehold of bitterness.)
Here’s some simple advice:
1. Ask God to show you something about your spouse today — how God sees that person.
2. Pick one wife from the Bible (if you are a wife; otherwise, pick a husband).
- Write down why she or he was or was not a good example to follow — give specifics (heart and actions).
- How did this wife affect her husband (or husband affect his wife)?
3. What is one thing you want to see your spouse change most of all? (Focus on one thing at a time.)
4. What is one thing you think you need to change? Focus on that.
5. What is one thing you think your spouse is going to say you need to change? Focus on that.
6. In a safe environment (with a counselor possibly present), share those things you need to change. They should do the same thing. Refrain from any disparaging comments.
7. Respect is the key. No relationship will flourish where there is a lack of respect.
8. “Die” to yourself. (This doesn’t mean accept or tolerate abuse.) This refers to your own will. Surrender it to God. Walk in His truth and freedom.
9. Pray, expecting God to answer!
10. Invite God’s Presence into the situation — to convict, change, make a difference.