I haven’t blogged for awhile — more than a month since my last blog. That’s because first and foremost, I am a wife and mom. I would rather be doing than writing about what I want to do, hope to do, or ought to do. Even more so, I would rather be being.
I want to be the wife and mom that is actively loving, living, and practicing her learning.
The Lord recently reminded me again of how I need to be all in the present, giving myself unreservedly to my family by loving and serving them with a willing and joyful attitude. This doesn’t mean it’s easy always to love and serve. I love and serve joyfully even when the recipients aren’t so loving or appreciative in return. Loving and serving isn’t about the happy feelings I get in return — though I do get some of those too. It’s not about me — what I can get as a result of my actions.
Loving isn’t about me, what I get as a result of my actions.
Motherhood isn’t about the warm, fuzzy feelings I get when I cuddle with my kids — though that’s a part of it too. Motherhood extends beyond what makes me happy to what brings joy to those whom I am serving and most importantly Who I am serving.
Marriage works the same way. So often, marriages occur because of what we feel we are getting from the marriage: passionate pleasure, comfortable companionship, hugs and holding hands, romantic relationships, protection, sense of security, children. That’s why divorce is so prevalent. We think marriage is all about ourselves. What if instead, we began our marriages with the thought of “How can I help this person to be all that God created them to be? To be all that they were meant to be? How can I meet this other person’s needs: emotional, spiritual, psychological, physical, sexual, etc…?” If both partners were committed to practice such, there would be no divorces!
We come naturally wired to think of self. It takes a lot of effort to think beyond ourselves, how something makes us feel, to how we can help and bring joy to someone else.
Honestly, I am not there yet. I am still learning. Thankfully, I have a very patient husband and forgiving children. I am thankful that grace is there in each moment of my day. Grace helps me deal with the nitty-gritty and to come out with a heart of gratefulness and humility.
Grace is all about the “nitty gritty” of life.