Life has been extra crazy lately. My husband is preparing for an important test to get a license. This requires sacrifice on the part of the entire family. The man has to study, the mommy has to carry on without the assistance of her husband, the kids miss out on some play times with their daddy. The days seem longer, along with the “To-Do” lists. This is also the time when stairs break, dishwashers come unscrewed from their mountings, vacuum cleaners break, taxes need to be filed, grass needs to be mowed, and the list grows.
Allergy season is also in full swing. Baby is congested again. My nights are far too short, while my days are much longer. So the stresses, the frustrations, the inconveniences build. It’s easy to release some of that tension towards those around me in negative ways — to not be as gracious, meek, patient, or sensitive.
Weeks pass, and I haven’t yet found a quiet hour to sit and blog, to reflect on the good that is occurring. And it is occurring. All the time.
Instead, I focus on what is important: living the life I have been given. Sometimes, it’s too easy to write about the life we want to have, wish we had, but not really live in the moment. The crux though is am I living my life — living it fully in the present and as God intended?
I don’t want to borrow the blessings/the good from the present in my rush to pursue the future or record the past.
This blog is taking me days to write — days because I stop to feed my family, clean dishes, sew bunny ears on a child’s stuffed toy. How rewarding it is to have a child’s “million-dollar” smile when he sees the restored bunny! There is beauty in the simple things and so much good too! There is fulfillment in ironing wrinkles out of a dress shirt. There is contentment in vacuuming behind a dresser. Joy is all about perspective, priorities. It’s about commitment and balance.
I love to blog and will still blog as I can. Why? Because it gives me a record of lessons God is teaching me. It helps me to connect to a larger community. It encourages me to know that I might somehow assist someone else who is on a similar path of life.
Blogging can also be about affirmation — getting the affirmation and encouragement from others so that our mundane becomes more glorious — not because it isn’t or wasn’t — but because we needed another perspective or just a simple dose of encouragement to change our perspectives. Is that all bad? No. It is good to get encouragement. Community is meant to share and care. I just need to make sure that the larger community has not replaced my heart connections to my “individual family”.
I also need to determine that I am not reaching out to a broader community for support because I am lacking in closer relationships at home. If my relationships at home are lacking, it is time to readjust, redefine, reevaluate, and reestablish heart connections. Community is not meant to replace needs that stem from deficient connections within the nucleus of my own family.
I’ll end this blog for now as I have many other topics running through my mind and stories I would love to share. For now though, it’s all about connecting with my children’s hearts, stitching patterns of love, patience, selflessness, and joy into our days.