I am very excited about meeting our little girl! I just wish that the timing for everything was a little different.
I got our garden in — worked in 90+ degree weather for hours to finish it. The bathroom though is another matter. We are at a bit of a stand-still, waiting on the plumber, than our contractor, and for Jonathan to be able to get everything done in between. So, my house is dirty, furniture is out of place, and yet, our Baby is coming very soon. I know the men can’t “get this” totally, but other moms who went through the “nesting stage” know how discouraging this is to a new mom. The thought of bringing my baby home to a messy and dirty house is going to really “tax” me. I have always brought my babies home to a clean and tidy house. That way, I can just take it “easy” for a few days and do nothing but enjoy my new baby. The way things stand, I am going to want to push myself and clean and clean and clean after I have just had a baby. I know you all can tell me it doesn’t matter. It does matter though — to me. I am the one who has to live in this house and stare at dirty floors, thick dust on my furniture, and my house in disarray. Thinking about it, I had to shed a few tears this morning. I don’t feel relaxed and ready for our Baby’s arrival.
I had my midwife apt. yesterday. Sure enough, things are progressing along, and it doesn’t look like it will be much longer. I have been experiencing a lot of crampiness and contractions too lately so any day now. I put a few more things in my suitcase today. I am trying to at least be ready for the hospital.
I did pray about this but told Jonathan I didn’t want to complain and express my discouragement to the Lord. I did finally tell the Lord last night, which of course He already knows, that I am just plain frustrated and overwhelmed by this all.
We’ve had people ask us why we waited this close to the Baby’s arrival. Well, we didn’t, but we didn’t put our lives on hold to do the bathroom either, which I guess we needed to do to have finished this sooner. We also had to wait ’til we had the $ to start on the bathroom. Plus, we were working around Jonathan’s schedule to rip out walls. So, here we are with 12 days ’til my due date or sooner, and there are no walls, ceiling, lights, doors, plumbing fixtures, or permanent floor. We are a far cry from being finished.
Jonathan’s had such a workload too that he’ll be there for the Baby’s birth, but that’s it. I know, so many of you ladies have had that happen. Still, I really want my husband to be there to help me and savor this time with our baby while I am in the hospital. I am going to be very sad to have him away at work.
I know, by now, you are all tired of reading my complaints. I just thought that I would blog my honest feelings at this time. I am exhausted and feeling emotionally drained as well. The heat took its toll on me as well. I am thankful that today is glorious weather!
I also realize that God will get us through this stage. Somehow, it will all work out — even though it may be very different than I would choose. I refuse to become bitter over this; and maybe some day, I will see how it has made me better as well.